Hello, and welcome

First of all, I'd like to make it clear that I have nothing at all against mums doing paid work and having a career. This blog isn't about championing one type of motherhood over another. This blog is about life as a long-term stay-at-home mum (who does the odd bit of home tuition to make some extra money). If you google 'stay-at-home-mum' and 'extended career break' you find that almost everything about being a stay-at-home parent is written with with the express aim of getting you back to work, and that those whose voices apparently matter seem to define an extended career break as anything over about one year. Staying at home beyond the end of your maternity leave, as I have done, is a relatively rare thing, an unexpected thing - nobody gives you careers advice about that at school. I told my husband recently that I felt as though I was part of a subversive counter-culture. "Well, you are," he replied. I've long felt the pressure that those in my position feel: that to be considered successful and a good role model to my children I should be working outside the home, at least on a part time basis. I should be productive in a quantifiable way, and that means earning money. I've struggled with feelings of guilt and failure - was four years at university a waste of time and money? Am I failing myself and other women by not being in the workplace? Lately, though, I've stopped listening to those nagging inner voices, and decided to go fully counter-cultural. Yes, I will tell my children that they can choose to do anything they want to when they grow up, but they will know that staying at home with their kids is as valid as any career.


"Pah!" I hear some cry. "You have no idea how privileged you are to be able to stay at home! You affluent, middle class person with your lofty ideals!" Oh, I know I'm privileged to be able to do what I love. I know that many parents have no choice but to be out there, working as many hours as they can in a job they hate to make ends meet. But if you take that into account, it's a privilege for anyone to be doing a job that they love, isn't it? And as for affluent: it's true that my husband has a good job, but we've had to make a lot of sacrifices along the way for things to work financially. The vast majority of these sacrifices, however, are material - and are only really important to a materialistic society like ours here in the UK. If you discount all of this, there is very little that we lose out on, and a huge amount to be gained: time, mostly, and I'd rather have that.

Like I said, this blog is about being a long-term stay-at-home-mum. I want to share ideas, encouragement and things that I'm doing (I warn you now, I'm an insufferable makey/bakey/gardeny person). I want to generate discussion and get people thinking. I can't help it: I used to be a teacher. I'm not planning on getting all ranty too often, so I hope you'll come back and see what I'm up to.